As a Red Sox fan I admit that at first this little slide was all a big laugher.

They were going to make the playoffs with ease and September would just be like garbage time in the last few minutes of a football or basketball blowout.

Laughing at first…then giggling…then snickers…now just PISSED.

Carl Crawford has been writing some lame ass diary on ESPN when he really should be working on his game.  

Diary?  Really?  Cant even call it a blog?  What a fucking girl.

And now he’s out of the lineup today with a “stiff neck” during one of the most important weeks of his career?? 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I thought JD Drew was on the DL?  This is just insanity.

You can read his most recent post HERE and hopefully you’re able to get through the first 4 paragraphs without throwing up (I couldnt).

But I want to point out a couple things that piss me off.

**In the first paragraph he blames Marco Scutaro for not telling him to slide on a play at the plate this past weekend.** 

I cant stand Marco Scutaro, but Im letting him off the hook on this one. Crawford just threw him completely under the bus here.  Signs of a coward and a shitty teammate if you ask me.

**He says that he hears the boos when he goes back to Tampa.**  

Um…does he leave his hearing aide at home when he plays at Fenway?  They boo him louder there than anywhere else!

**He’s proud that Tim Wakefield got his 200th win.  

BFD.  Wakefield is another story for another time that will take up tons of pages of ranting from me on why the Red Sox deserve to not make playoffs and Wakefield is part of that.

**Ortiz told the team they should be in panic mode but Crawford disagreed.**

Um…you might want to listen to a guy who knows a little bit about being behind and coming back to win a series (2004 ALCS).  Crawford hasnt won shit yet he wont listen to Ortiz, a proven leader of a winning clubhouse?  Get real Crawford.

**He sums up what the Red Sox have to do over this last week in one word: Win.**

NO SHIT CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

**Crawford is in a fantasy football league, co owns a team with his brother, and has LeSean McCoy, and thinks his team is pretty good.**

How about you let your brother continue to run the team and you focus on more important stuff like saaaaaaay…NOT SUCKING AT BASEBALL RIGHT NOW.

**He finishes by apologizing to Red Sox fans for his shitty season and says “hopefully when we get into these playoffs, I can be the real Carl Crawford that I know I am.”**

Ok…”WHEN”?? Sounds a little cocky to me for a guy who’s sucked ass all year and his team is now on the cusp of one of the all time greatest regular season baseball chokes.  

But wait its ok…he’s sorry.

In the words of George Costanza: “You can stuff your sorry’s in a sack mister!”

Even if the Red Sox make the playoffs this year, they wont get very far at all.  Too many injuries the pitching on these other playoff teams is much better than they are right now.

Ok by now Im sure all of you have seen this and heard it, but its still pretty funny how it just came out (1st video below).

Shortly after that, he apologized (2nd video below).

Whats hilarious about the apology is how Mike Tirico just goes “Ok” and then there’s about 10 seconds of awkward silence.

Could you imagine if Jaws was doing the Raiders and Broncos game when Janikowski kicked a record tying 63 yard field goal?  

I think it woulda went something like this:

“HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT FUCKING KICK?!?!”

One word describes both my fantasy teams during week 1…

PATHETIC.

The only plus out of all of this was Ray Rice for me in my ESPN league.  

It was nice to have Kenny Britt on the bench too in the ESPN league, but it would not have mattered.

In my Yahoo! league I was up against Ray Rice and Kenny Britt.

So in other words, I had zero chance.

And just wait til you see who was on my opponent’s team in the ESPN league…

Below is the abortion known as my Week 1 fantasy scores..

YAHOO! Lost 112.76 - 62.52

ESPN Lost 142 - 93 

Note: The guy I played had Brady and Welker who combined for a total 74 Points

Let me preface this by saying that Ive NEVER won a football league in all my years of playing fantasy football.

I have 2 baseball championships and no higher than a 4th place finish in football.  So Im pretty much expected to lose.

Not this year baby!

Not that you really give a shit, but below are my championship rosters.

First League is my Yahoo! league that we’ve been running for over 10 years with the same group of guys.  Its a 12 team non ppr league and here is my roster:

So thats one championship team right there.  The worst part of this was that I went into the draft telling myself “stay away from Maclin”.  So what do I do?  I end up drafting Maclin.  Even as I made this pick I almost threw up.  

However, Im happy with it and its going to play out to be huge.  

Here’s my second championship team this year and its my ESPN league that is an 8 team non ppr Keeper league.  

So this should give you 2 different views of what championship teams look like.

Good luck this season, I know I’ll need it.

To be honest, I can barely see the keyboard because of the tears in my eyes from laughing my ass off at this.

This is unbelievable.  And friggin hilarious all in one.

They just wont leave this friggin guy alone.  Now Im not condoning what he did at all, Im a huge dog person and think what he did was disgusting.

However, the man has paid his dues, he did his time and took his punishment to the full extent.  Yet people love to rip on him.

But whats missing from this ESPN “hypothetical situation” is the fact that if Mike Vick was white, he wouldnt even be a topic in the NFL!

Mike Vick made his name (before the dog fighting stuff) as a black rushing quarterback.  Name me just one white “rushing” qb in the NFL (Tim Tebow doesnt count).

See…you cant do it.

Otherwise, with his shitty throwing ability (pre jail) he woulda been a back up on 3 different teams.

Still crying by the way laughing at this picture.

Last night Chicago Cubs shortstop, Starlin Castro, was caught by ESPN cameras not even paying attention during the game when a live pitch was being thrown.

This is hilarious…but also leads me to wonder:  What was actually going through his mind during that pitch?  What could he have possibly been thinking about?

If you’re on Twitter, fill in the blank to this sentence and tweet it to: @League_Minimum 

“Starlin Castro was thinking about _____________.”

My guess is that he was thinking about how he’s 21 years old, already a solidified stud in the majors, and he’s basically got vagina falling out of his pockets all over the place.

Here’s the video:

Charissa Thompson has been the jack of all trades as far as sideline reporting.

This little hottie has worked for Fox, FSN, ESPN, NFL Network, and on and on.   Which I think is smart to do, get your sexy little ass out in front of as many sports fans as possible.

Why?

Because sports fans are mostly guys…horny testosterone driven guys who will only look away and lose concentration from a game to look at a piece of ass or to get a beer. 

And by getting in front of all these men, you make a name for yourself in the industry and all of a sudden you are wanted more.

Well done, Charissa.  Thank you for diverting my attention from many games for those 15 seconds or so.  

**Do you have a local sportscaster that you think could be “Today’s Talent”? If so email them to me at: TheLeagueMinimum@gmail.com with the Subject: Today’s Talent**

I sure hope so because it seems serious.

Side note:  Look at the types of questions these bozo’s ask… “What do you think of Roy Oswalt?”

Really?  ”He’s a great guy, real solid swimmer.”  Get a life, pal.